


Seeing

by Buffy606



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Episode: s02e17 Passion, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7108465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffy606/pseuds/Buffy606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In that moment, Giles looked into Jenny’s eyes and could see things perfectly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought the dialogue in Passion between Willow and Giles when he was at Buffy's house picking up the spell book was rich with subtext. I was inspired to write about how those words affected him in terms of reconciling with Jenny. The changes between this story and canon are that Angelus never went and attacked Jenny at the school.

_“Well it went fine until Angel showed up and told Buffy’s mom that he and Buffy had, well you know …that they had…you know…you do know, right?”_

_“Oh. Yes. Sorry.”_

_“Oh good. Cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn’t know.”_

_“No, thank you. I got it.”_

Willow’s words continued to resonate in Giles’ head as he stepped out of his car and walked the familiar path towards his front door. He had grown accustomed to the children’s lack of tact, and quite frankly their outright mockery of anything resembling his personal life, but Willow’s admission had burrowed its way into Giles’ head and refused to leave. Perhaps it was her genuine uncertainty that because he was a librarian it was entirely possible he was oblivious to sexual intimacy. In fact, her doubt seemed to sting more than Xander’s incessant teasing, for instance when he told Giles that the stork was just a “smoke screen” – Xander only made these jokes to add levity to the reality of the situation, the reality being that Giles did in fact know about the birds and the bees. Giles continued to ponder as he unlocked his front door and was presented with the comforting sight of his own flat after a long day.

Giles had accepted long ago that his calling made personal relationships – romantic or otherwise – rather complicated. Not only did the schedule of an active Watcher disrupt the normalcy required to keep up with friends and significant others, it always seemed to be the loved ones who paid the price for his responsibilities. After unsuccessful attempts early on in his career to maintain a personal life outside the occult, Giles embraced his solitude as part of his duty. That embracement, however, did not mean that when it came to intimacy he was oblivious or uninterested.

In accepting his life of late night prophecy research and learning to speak dead languages, Giles knew he was perceived as a one-dimensional figure to those around him: The stuffy, English, librarian, Watcher…he was seen through a single lens that blinded the whole of who he was. That is why the uprising of Eyghon was such a frightening experience for the Scooby gang: it shattered that single lens and forced those around him to see his complexities and competing identities. He _was_ a Watcher and he _was_ a librarian, but he was also a man. A man who made mistakes, a man who sometimes found his responsibilities to be overwhelming, and a man who desperately wanted to reconcile with his girlfriend.

As Giles hung up his coat and started a pot of tea in anticipation for Jenny’s arrival, he loosened his tie as he continued to shake off Willow’s earlier words. For years, Giles had been content with being alone. Not many women found proficiency in Sumerian especially eye-catching. He had longed accepted that the most attractive qualities women found in him belonged to Ripper. That was, until he met Jenny.

As the tea kettle whistled him back to reality, he again was blissfully aware of the one person who saw him for who he was and loved him – Jenny. She wasn’t attracted to him because he used to play guitar in a band or because he can cast dark magick. She fell in love with his abhorrence of computers, the way he cross-referenced every prophecy he read to verify its authenticity. She knew his past and forgave him, and saw his present and loved him. The lens Jenny saw Giles through was fragmented; welded together with slivers from the lenses of all his identities, and she saw perfectly who he was. He was a fuddy-duddy – but he was a _sexy_ fuddy-duddy.

As Giles set the tea mugs down on the coffee table, he heard a knock. He could feel his heart rate quicken as he padded to the front door, gripped the knob, and turned. On his doorstep she stood, bags of files and documents in tow; her thick, black hair dancing in the wind. She gave a small smile. Jenny Calendar was at his doorstep.

“Hey, England.”

The familiarity of the pet name only served to melt Giles’ heart.

After Giles took in the moment, he quickly regained his composure and responded, “Please, do come in,” as he pivoted to make room for her to enter.

As Jenny crossed the threshold into his apartment, slightly brushing his chest with her right arm, her jacket found purchase on the nearby bar stool with a practiced gesture. Almost as if they had not been estranged for weeks. Giles’ closed the door as he made the connection as to why that bar stool being empty the last few weeks bothered him.

“I prepared some tea for us…uh, I was unsure what the occasion called for,” He said, trying not to imply he had ulterior motives, and then worrying he was being too critical of his choice of words.

Jenny had already sat down on the couch and was fishing through her bag of papers, when she absently said, “Yeah, that’s fine.” She looked up at him with intensity, “Here, come here, I have a little surprise for you.”

Giles could tell she seemed quite focused on the documents in her hands, but as he sat down next to her, he found himself mesmerized by the contours of her face. His eyes snapped back up to hers as she broke the silence.

“Alright, I know I said it couldn’t be done, but you know me, I love a challenge.” She finished rummaging through her papers and continued, “Well, I think I may have done some of my best work yet.” With this, a smirk-ridden Jenny handed him a stack of pages of what appeared to be computer-printed text. Giles took the pages and began to scan them. Jenny looked at him with anticipation and excitement as Giles’ face changed from focused, to confusion, to awe. “Not bad for a technopagan, huh?”

“Is this…is this the curse? The curse to return Angelus’ soul?” Giles asked with hesitation, almost afraid of being wrong.

Jenny replied with a controlled excitement, “Yup. Fully translated and castable. I even have an Orb of Thesulah ready to go.”

Giles continued to shuffle through the pages, recognizing the familiar literary cadence of a Romani spell, and finally looked up at Jenny. The moment hit him square in the chest. Jenny sitting on his couch, looking at him with anticipation, reconciliation for them in sight, and a solution to the Angelus nightmare in their grasp. Giles knew he should first call Buffy, they should attempt to cast this curse as soon as possible…he could feel his training fighting to take over. Telling him personal dalliances can wait, they must call Buffy at once, perform the ritual as soon as possible. But looking at Jenny, seeing her care so deeply about making this up to him and Buffy, the way her eyes sparkled with hope. In that moment he didn’t want to play the role of the one-dimensional librarian whose sworn duty to protect trumps all his passions and desires. In that moment he wanted her, and it was about damn time she saw that too.

Without a further thought, he brought his hand up to cup Jenny’s face, and leaned in for a firm kiss. She immediately responded by placing a soft hand on his knee.

As soon as their lips touched, the rest of the world fell away. Suddenly the curse, Angelus, nothing else seemed important other than their bodies, that kiss, and their love.

After several moments, they both pulled back just enough to look into each other’s eyes, Giles still cupping her face, immediately felt the impulse to withdraw his hand. Maybe he overstepped? Maybe given what is between them, this wasn’t appropriate? He looked down, closed his eyes, and pulled further away as he said with a heavy breath, “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…overstepped…”

Instantly, Jenny got up, crossed her arms to her stomach, and walked towards the kitchen. Giles wondered if he offended her, maybe she wanted to stay focused on discussing the curse.  She interrupted his line of thinking when she erupted, “Goddess, Giles, you have nothing to apologize for! It’s me, I’m the one who messed things up!” Jenny’s demeanor quickly shifted from the hopefulness it once was to exasperated. She paced in front of the hallway to the right of the couch. The words needing to escape faster than she could talk. Giles stared at her, intensely.

“Rupert, you have to know. Getting close to you was never part of the plan. In fact, my family actively discouraged me from ‘becoming too friendly’ with the locals. After I met you and Buffy and the whole gang, I…I thought I could just leave my old life behind. The truth is I didn’t know that Angel could lose his soul, if I did, you have to know, I would have told you…”

As Jenny’s tone became more frantic, Giles continued to stare at her with intensity, his breathing becoming shallower. She stopped pacing, turned towards him and looked him in the eyes.

“And you have to know, I never lied with you. I didn’t tell you the real reason I was in Sunnydale or why I was here, but I never lied about who I am and how I feel about you. You see the real me more than anyone ever has.”

With this, Giles darted his gaze to the floor, her words washing over him, affirming what he hoped to be true. That he was not a pawn in her plan, she just happened to fall in love. He could relate. Jenny continued to stand off to the side of the couch, breathing heavy and slightly shaking from adrenaline.

In that moment, Giles looked into Jenny’s eyes and could see things perfectly, and he didn’t care how anyone else saw him.

Without a word, Giles got up and walked assuredly over to Jenny. At first, Jenny seemed confused. He stopped right in front of her, their shoes almost touching, he could feel her skin buzz next to him. He slowly lifted his right hand and gently snaked it behind her back, feeling every contour of her body, every fold of fabric, her warmth. With his other hand, he cupped her face, feeling the softness of her neck underneath his fingertips, the frame of her ears on his thumb. He gazed at her face, flush red from her confession. He slowly drew her close as she instinctively wrapped her arms around him as well. He maneuvered his face so that they were trading breaths and felt her in his arms…alive, solid, in love with him. He gently leaned in and brushed her lips with his. Drinking in her mouth, wanting the clarity of the moment to last, shine out until they couldn’t see anything else but each other. He loved Jenny Calendar and wanted nothing more than to show her. As the kiss ended, they leaned in, foreheads touching. Giles softy whispered, “I love you.”

Jenny’s mouth crinkled into a smile, “God, that’s good to hear.” Giles returned the smile and tightened his hold on her, moving in for another kiss. As it moved from tentative exploration to passionate need, Giles pushed her until Jenny’s back was against the wall opposite the kitchen. He stepped into her and as Jenny lifted her leg to his hip to bring him in even closer, Giles moved his hand from her back down to her leg, clutching with want. This time when the kiss finally broke, they were both breathless.

Giles said, voice heavy with desire, “And I want you.”

Jenny grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down to meet her lips again as she said beneath heavy eye lids, “That’s even better.”

_Fin._

 


End file.
